It’s a LOVE Thing…

In reference to Valentine’s Day, I thought I would help spread some love and give some insight to Aaron and I’s relationship. How we met, how I got to Ohio, and things that help make our relationship work.

We actually met on a Carnival cruise ship in November of 2011, but life would take us in different directions and we did not see each other again until a whirlwind meeting in Nashville, in February of 2012. So, the period around Valentine’s has always been significant to us.

I have no doubt whatsoever that God had a hand in us being together. There were numerous things that happened during the course of us dating. My favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  After Aaron and I hung out briefly, I got a picture frame in the mail along with tulips for Valentine’s Day that had that exact verse on it. It was crazy and Aaron had no idea that was my all time go to! I knew the fingerprints of God was allover it. I had just gotten out of a rough three year relationship and I just remember spending many nights alone by myself in Oklahoma City and just praying that God would bring the right man into my life at the right time. Aaron and I had exchanged numbers on the cruise, but never even spoke over the phone. I went out on a limb one cold January day, and shot him a text. That night, he called and we talked forever. We made plans to meet in Nashville (I had family there- so if I needed a escape route – I had one) and see Luke Bryan & Jason Aldean in concert.

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Our 1st Date in Nashville, Tennessee 

We had the best time and instantly clicked. I used to roll my eyes when I would hear people say, “oh, you’ll know when you know,” but it could not be more true. As I was waiting at the terminal for my plane, one of my dear and best friends, Jeris, called. I told her about our weekend, how amazing this guy was and she said…”B, I have been praying for you to find someone that is good and treats you the way that you deserve.” We both cried (I probably looked crazy in the airport LOL) and for me it was another sign that God had specifically chosen this person for me.

Six months later, my gypsy soul moved to Ohio and we were engaged. A year later, we were married in my hometown of Athens, Georgia and two and half years later we are now expecting our first baby.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I’m no relationship expert, and the good Lord knows we have our fair share of disagreements and hard times, but it’s how you work through them that counts. These are things that help our marriage flourish and I wanted to share them with y’all!

1. God first, Marriage/Spouse second

Everyday, I thank the Lord for Aaron. It was so important to me when I moved, to get plugged into a church. He agreed, and we found Community Bible Church in Mansfield. I firmly believe, that you have to put God first, then your marriage/spouse. It’s clearly outlined in the bible and I know without God our relationship would be a hot mess. By putting God first, we realize what’s important, how to treat one another, and how to love. God is always going to have your back, your best interest at heart, and the most amazing plan for you. I also see where a lot of relationships put their children first. I think kids are an absolute amazing gift, but when things get out of sequence –  hurt, jealously, and unappreciative feelings can occur. Aaron has asked me numerous times to not let having children knock him off of his pedestal per say. Which I feel, is a legitimate concern and done by so many women and men alike. For me, my husband is a special and loving reminder of how our children got here in the first place.

 By putting your marriage above your children, they get to see a loving and strong Father/Mother role. In today’s society and our topsy turvy sinful world, I think that is so important for children to see. They model themselves after what they’re taught and let them see what real love looks like! I don’t know whether we will have a daughter or a son, but I want them to see us madly in love with one another. For a daughter, having a daddy who is attentive and loving to their mother is so important and key in how she will view other relationships and choose a suitor. For a son, it’s up to us to teach them how they treat women with respect and to show them how a loving marriage is portrayed. I’m already praying for these things as they get ready to come which leads me to number 2!

2. Prayer

I pray for our marriage multiple times a day. I pray for protection, guidance, blessings, and patience. I take my praises, worries, or concerns and take them to the Lord in prayer. We have a free lifeline to our awesome God and we have to use it! We also pray together. It can be meal times, driving in the car, bedtime, or even out of the blue. I am beyond thankful to share this intimate time with my husband. If you aren’t at a point, where you pray together – just pray about it. God will make a way to show your significant other that it’s meaningful to you.

 

3. Date Nights

Make an effort to get dolled up and plan something special for your spouse. Whether you do it once a month or once a week- make time for one another. Take these opportunities to reconnect throughout your busy schedule and cherish time together. Dates don’t have to be pricey either. You can cook at home and rent a movie or even do a day date. Spending quality time together is key. Put the phones down, leave social media alone, and focus on your sweetheart!

4. Love Language

I highly recommend Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages”. For Aaron, I know his love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. I catch more flies with honey using kind words and holding his hand or giving him a hug than anything else. As for me, I enjoy gifts and acts of service. To see Aaron washing the dishes or folding laundry brings me so much love and appreciation. When he surprises me with thoughtful gifts it just makes my heart happy. You have to know how to connect with one another and what makes that person happy. There are many different ways to show love and you want to make sure you’re doing the things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated the most.

 

5. Listen

I can be a real talker sometimes (shocking, I know!). And it’s so important to really listen to your spouse. Listen to how their day is going, the happy times, the sad times, and the fearful times. Be a rock and a safe place they can lean on. Aaron is my best friend and we got to this point by listening to one another, connecting, and having conversations.

Whether you are in a relationship or still single, I hope some of these tips can help you on your journey. Just don’t forget, in all things PRAY! And when things don’t feel like they’re happening like you want, BE STILL. Our God is faithful. Our God is love and He wants His best for you. Happy Valentines y’all Heavy black heart

There are times, where I will just look over at my partner and just thank God above that he is mine and this is who I get to spend life with. Looking back through all of our adventures together, the travels allover the world, there’s no one else that I would rather have by my side.

4 Comments

  1. February 13, 2016 / 12:18 am

    I have always admired you B. When I first met you I was having a hard time in life. Meeting someone that beamed with Gods love was very important for me. I had God tucked away in my pocket and you showed me you can wear him out loud and in style. Many positive changes happen when God is first. I wanted to tell you I love this! And I love seeing great things come your way.
    l

  2. February 13, 2016 / 12:18 am

    I loved hearing your love story and was privileged to watch it all unfold. Watching the two of you fall deeper in love has been something beautiful to watch. As you two draw closer to Christ you have drawn closer to each other! Your love and respect for each other is a joy for my soul! I can see God in you and through both you and Aaron. May god continue to bless you, your marriage, and your children. You are truly a blessing to me Miss Brooke! Love ya girl! 💕

  3. February 13, 2016 / 12:34 am

    Love you Sheyna! You are such a sweet and special girl and I could feel that connection with you when we met. I am so proud of all the things you’re doing and of your beautiful family! The sky is the limit and if God is for us, no one can stand against us!

  4. February 13, 2016 / 12:36 am

    Love you lots Barb! I am so grateful to have met you and share God with you. You have the deepest respect from me and I am blessed to have you in my life. We love you!